Thursday, August 6, 2009

Seriously, If We Can Clone Things, I Think We Can Make Me Some Cherry Soft Serve

Sure, there are times when I sit on my couch, alone, and eat a pint of ice cream while watching the 2 am Cheers rerun on the Hallmark channel (fine, it's every night, but finding dates is hard AM I RIGHT LADIES?). And when I eat that pint, I want chunks of stuff in it. I want candy in it. I want marshmallows in it. I want nuts in it. If you give me some pretzels in it, I might start slapping the sides of my head because IT'S TOO DELICIOUS.

But when I'm eating ice cream out in the world (which is too rare, but I'll take it when I can get it AM I RIGHT
LADIES?), I want some soft serve. I can get regular ice cream at the store whenever, but if I can get soft serve, I'm going to get some soft serve. Try and stop me. I am never let down by vanilla soft serve, or chocolate, or a twist or...oh wait, THOSE ARE THE ONLY FLAVORS.

This doesn't make any sense, and the more I think about it, the angrier I get. I want some strawberry soft serve! I want some raspberry soft serve! Granted, there's not a ton of flavors we're missing - most are of the berry variety - but we need options. And I know they're out there. They're just sitting there on the Wikipedia page. How have I never seen it in real life? Readers, tell me where I can get some. I would Google it but the internet is hard AM. I. RIGHT. LADIES?


  1. 2 things:

    1) anyone who doesn't like chunks is a freak.

    2) when is spumoni soft-serve gonna make an appearance?

    Keep up the good work.

  2. Flavored soft serve is the greatest idea ever.

  3. boss: i don't know if i can fit all my love for spumoni into a whole novel, much less a post, but i'm going to give it a try.

    blake: agreed. i actually was told last night that i had some last year in maine, and now that i remember: yes, it was the greatest. there is no reason why it's not everywhere, though.